Friday, July 23, 2004

Almost Over!

Ah, finally, the end is in site! This has been a marathon week for me at work! I haven't worked a full 40-hour week in about 5 weeks and not only am I putting in 40 hours this week, I'm putting in 53 hours, thus making it the longest week of this summer and possibly one of the longest I've ever worked here. And to top it off, I've had to figure out ways to kill 53 hours because I've had nothing to do. Do you realize how hard it is to waste 53 hours?!? lol. But I only have 6 hours left and I'm excited because it's almost over and I'll (hopefully) never have to work another full week here again for the rest of time. :) Anyhoo, yesterday was extremely exciting...not. Put in a 13 1/2 hour day, and I'm pretty sure that's the longest day I've ever worked here. But now I have all the comp-time I need to take the first week of August off. :P But, man, that was a long day. Felt like it would never end. Essentially I surfed the web and read about 100 pages of my Peretti book, which is quite excellent, btw. Then I came home at 8:15, had dinner, took a shower, jumped on the computer, jumped off the computer, had a quiet time and went to bed. Same ol, lol. Hopefully tonight's blog will be a little more exciting, considering I only work 8 hours today and it is Friday, so maybe I can find something to do. :)

Deep Thoughts of the Day:
Man, they just keep on coming. I can't concentrate on one deep thought long enough to figure it out before another one comes and takes priority. It's like one big thing every day. Oh well...mix them all into my stewpot I guess. :P Anyhow, so my issue yesterday occured when I came home last night and had my $3,000 fall tuition bill waiting for me. It just really brought home some monetary concerns that were in the back of my head and made me come back to reality a little. I feel like maybe I've been living in a false reality the past few months, of "oh, everything's okay and well and I'm fine and I can quit my job and not care and life is peachy, blah, blah, blah". But now I have this big bill and I have money to pay it, but I'm looking at spring semester and senior year and wondering if I will have money to pay for those. Any now second-questioning myself. If I were to stay at this job, the government would cover my final three semesters. That's $9,000. But then I'd have to work here for a year after I graduate as part of the agreement. So by quitting I'm throwing away $9,000 and a guaranteed job after college. But I hate it here, I need out, I'm not happy and I hate the area. If I were to stay here one more summer and then another year after that, I think I would go certifiably insane, become a complete kook. But it's a lot of money to throw away. Money that I need. Arggghh. It's just so confusing to me, all these factors. Just 7 months ago, it was all so simple. My path was straight and defined and had a conclusion. Then somehow it's gotten muddied and twisted and undefined and I see no end to it. I just hope that I'm following God's will for my life and not my own. I hope I haven't let external influences muddle my thoughts too much. But then again, maybe the muddling is for the best. I dunno. But I feel confused. I guess the best that could happen would be for me to get this new co-op job for spring semester and make a lot of money up to pay off senior year. Actually the absolute best thing would be to get a government position at Joey's work and that way I could keep my government tuition assistance and benifits and stuff. Speaking of which, I need to email him and get on that. :) But I dunno, whatever. Gives me something to think about today...well that is until I think of something else. :P

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